Settle down now, everyone, settle down.
Right, now, as you know, I´m giving two big lectures this week. (What did you say, George? Well, they´re important to me, and there were a lot of people there at the first one. No, not just idiots. Now that´s enough, George, or I´ll send you to sit outside the Head Mistress´s office...)
Where was I. Oh, yes? I´m going to have to leave you to be very sensible and quiet while I´m away. And what I´d like you to do is think about the relationship of symbols to reality. (What´s that, Alicia? Yes, I know Theory says they´re the same thing, but they´re not. Just because they´re not. Well, go and read Barthes and Saussure from cover to cover, and then you can come back and explain it to me. I´d certainly like someone to do that.)
Where was I? Yes, symbols and reality. I haven´t got time to go into it now, but I´ll just give you a few things to think about, to get you started, and then when I come back I expect you all to have worked something out. So get your pens out (Yes, Ben, a pencil will do. Or a quill pen. Yes, your iPhone if you must.)
The Day of The Dead, dancing, top hatted, bustle skirted skeletons and all.
A Roman Catholic church, with a statue or a flaming heart or a tree of Jesse or a steel helmetted conquistador in every cranny.
Creationism as a manifestation of a terrified insecurity, and mostly found in Evangelical Protestans.
Old fashioned courtesies to women meant as pure goodwill and goodmanners, and furious feminist reactions to them.
Now I´ll be back soon, so settle down and get writing. I´ll expect at least a page from everyone. And Mr Brown is right next door, and if I hear you´ve disturbed him there´ll be Blood for Breakfast. No, even if we were talking about symbols I didn´t mean Early Mass. I meant trouble. Mind you, you get offered just about everything else for desayuno in Mexico. You should taste the seriously grown up hot chocolate...
